All in

I thought it was time for an update on this blog since it's been..well...6 months.. I'm kinda embarrassed to admit that and to admit my reasons for it being so long since I last sat down to write about what's going on. The honest answer is, I have tried to make this process as easy as possible on myself by trying to forget how long the wait is going to be, continue to live my life not thinking about the adoption, and hope that one day when it gets closer to time for our children to come home, I can start thinking about it again. That would be the most comfortable thing to do, right? The only problem is, Jesus is enough. In hard times..in uncertain times..Jesus is enough. God did not call Paul and I on this crazy adoption journey that could quite possibly take close to 3 years for no reason, and he didn't JUST call us on this journey to bring home orphans as our own children. He called us on this journey for HIS glory and to use it to make us more like himself. So, here I am..struggling with trusting the Lord that he is going to take care of me when I lay my whole heart out on the line and choose to be very present in this adoption journey. What does that look like? I think it looks like in my prayers, not just throwing up a "be with our children in Ethiopia" prayer every night, but instead pleading with the Lord for them, their health, their birth family, their knowledge and understanding of their need for a savior, Jesus. This has been too hard for me up to this point because it is hard to pray like they really exist (or will exist soon) and know that I won't be seeing them, touching them, hugging them, for a good 2-3 years. That is incredibly heart-breaking. So, this is where I am asking God for the grace to remind me that Jesus is enough. When I am crying tears of frustration and sadness or trying to convince Paul to change adoption countries because it would be a quicker process, I have to learn to trust the Lord..to trust that He really is enough and that he's after something MUCH bigger than my comfort and making things easy. He is constantly drawing me to himself and making me more like him until the day I come face to face with Jesus, my savior.

"Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst"......"For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day." John 6:35, 6:40

Lord Jesus, remind me that you are enough. You alone satisfy.