As a part of our adoption, Paul and I are required to do on-line training and read certain books that go into detail about possible medical/social/emotional issues that adopted children may come with. As I read about all these issues that children who have been in orphanages sometimes face, I have found myself worrying alot. "What will they be like? Will they be healthy? Will they be unable to love because they have been through so much and can't trust anyone?" I know this worrying is a result of unbelief in my heart. I know God is whispering in his small voice, "trust me". This brings me to my point and what God is so graciously teaching me. God has not called me to a life of ease and comfort. God has not called me to the "American Dream". God has called me to live for His glory. Jesus tells us to love God first and our neighbor second. Honestly, nothing in this life is supposed to be about me. Why is this soooo hard? Everything in me wants this life to be about me. Everything in me wants a comfortable, easy life. Thankfully, JESUS in me reminds me that the only life worth living consists of dying to myself and my desires and living for Christ. Loving and following Christ is my only hope for a life worth living. This is where God wants Paul and me. He never promised following Him would be easy. He did promise it would be worth it, and He will shower us with his grace even in the midst of our unbelief.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
Hey Caroline & Paul,
ReplyDeleteI was just getting caught up after your mom posted this Caroline. We went through all the same things you're experiencing - all the what ifs. But we like you just felt that God wanted us to trust Him - so we did. We trusted God to lead us to how many children to adopt, where to adopt, and which children we would adopt. Obviously God led us to Latvia, we originally had specified 2 children but then felt like God wanted us to get 3. We prayed and felt like God wanted us to adopt children that no one else would adopt. This meant a large sibling group, with older children, boys, and additionally in our case special needs. The thing is that God equipped us as we trusted Him more and more.
The other cool thing is that when we found Anna, David, & Bennett the folks in the orphanage had been praying specifically for a family from America who were Believers and God brought us all together. We were an answer to their prayers and they were an answer to ours. We remain close with everyone there to this day.
I remember Alissa Stemple the orphanage director who is one of our dearest friends and literally part of our family now shared with us about our journey...
"It is such a wonder and joy to watch as God moves and prepares hearts for these big steps. He is so faithful and so good. Though we have seen it before, it never fails to take my breath away. He loves us so deeply and so completely. Like precious lambs He has been gently leading your family to these little ones. As the Holy Spirit so often wrote… in the fullness of time; in due season…"
God is moving and doing the same thing in your life - trust, enjoy, hang on, when you're afraid just pray. We can't wait to see what is going to happen!
Take care,
Barry Vaughn with Georgia, Stephanie, Courtney, Anna, David, & Bennett