God wants the real us with our real hopes and desires and struggles to come to him. God tells us in his word that he likes to give good gifts to his children and that we should ask. (Matthew 7:11)
Paul and I have been asking and trying to have a biological child for the past 2 1/2 years.. We have had one miscarriage, and the Lord has not answered that prayer.
The Lord has blessed us with two children that we couldn't have dreamed would be ours.. As they were so far out of our vision for our lives. But Jesus knows better than we. We thank him for our two babies. Sometimes his answers are way different than we would ever imagine. :)
Still Paul and I ask the Lord for a biological child.. You see, I never wanted to have a biological baby as I looked around the world and saw so many orphans..I just never thought I would do anything other than adopt. And then three years ago I prayed and asked Jesus to change my heart towards biological children if that was his will, and he did. The confusing thing is.. He still hasn't given us a child and no doctor has seen anything wrong with either Paul or me.
So that leaves me here-
1-Jesus still calls me to ask and keep asking for a child and believe that he CAN give us one. (I do not believe it is biblical to say that he WILL give us one...more on that in a second.)
2-So far God's answer is no. Does this make him unloving or uncaring? The bible (which I believe is the only source of truth) says absolutely not. The bible tells us that for Christians, God uses ALL things for good.. Suffering, blessing, etc. Not only does God use all things for good, but he also has sympathy and compassion on his children who are hurting. (Psalm 34:18-the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit)
However, God appoints times of suffering for our greater good. He loves us more than to give us everything we want or think we need. He cares more about our hearts than our comfort.
3-Jesus himself before getting murdered on the cross asked The Lord if there was any way that he could be spared going to the cross..
JESUS asked for his suffering to be removed from him and God answered no.
Was this because Jesus didn't have enough faith in his prayer? No, it was because God's rescue plan depended on Jesus's suffering in our place.
So here we are.. Having no clue what the future holds (literally, zero clue.)
And trusting our good good father to give us the strength to endure, the faith to trust when we cannot for the life of us see the "good" in infertility, miscarriage, and pain.
Failing to trust, losing sight of God's character.. And being held by his grip forever. The best news of my life: my relationship with God is NOT based on how well I believe.. It's based on Jesus's perfect life, death, and resurrection. Jesus is my rescue. (Of those whom you gave me, I have lost not one. -Jesus in John 18:9)
So we journey on. I am a new person because of these past three years. Suffering has a way of keeping you on your knees before the Lord and for that, I'm thankful.
Paul and I have been asking and trying to have a biological child for the past 2 1/2 years.. We have had one miscarriage, and the Lord has not answered that prayer.
The Lord has blessed us with two children that we couldn't have dreamed would be ours.. As they were so far out of our vision for our lives. But Jesus knows better than we. We thank him for our two babies. Sometimes his answers are way different than we would ever imagine. :)
Still Paul and I ask the Lord for a biological child.. You see, I never wanted to have a biological baby as I looked around the world and saw so many orphans..I just never thought I would do anything other than adopt. And then three years ago I prayed and asked Jesus to change my heart towards biological children if that was his will, and he did. The confusing thing is.. He still hasn't given us a child and no doctor has seen anything wrong with either Paul or me.
So that leaves me here-
1-Jesus still calls me to ask and keep asking for a child and believe that he CAN give us one. (I do not believe it is biblical to say that he WILL give us one...more on that in a second.)
2-So far God's answer is no. Does this make him unloving or uncaring? The bible (which I believe is the only source of truth) says absolutely not. The bible tells us that for Christians, God uses ALL things for good.. Suffering, blessing, etc. Not only does God use all things for good, but he also has sympathy and compassion on his children who are hurting. (Psalm 34:18-the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit)
However, God appoints times of suffering for our greater good. He loves us more than to give us everything we want or think we need. He cares more about our hearts than our comfort.
3-Jesus himself before getting murdered on the cross asked The Lord if there was any way that he could be spared going to the cross..
JESUS asked for his suffering to be removed from him and God answered no.
Was this because Jesus didn't have enough faith in his prayer? No, it was because God's rescue plan depended on Jesus's suffering in our place.
So here we are.. Having no clue what the future holds (literally, zero clue.)
And trusting our good good father to give us the strength to endure, the faith to trust when we cannot for the life of us see the "good" in infertility, miscarriage, and pain.
Failing to trust, losing sight of God's character.. And being held by his grip forever. The best news of my life: my relationship with God is NOT based on how well I believe.. It's based on Jesus's perfect life, death, and resurrection. Jesus is my rescue. (Of those whom you gave me, I have lost not one. -Jesus in John 18:9)
So we journey on. I am a new person because of these past three years. Suffering has a way of keeping you on your knees before the Lord and for that, I'm thankful.
