As a part of our adoption, Paul and I are required to do on-line training and read certain books that go into detail about possible medical/social/emotional issues that adopted children may come with. As I read about all these issues that children who have been in orphanages sometimes face, I have found myself worrying alot. "What will they be like? Will they be healthy? Will they be unable to love because they have been through so much and can't trust anyone?" I know this worrying is a result of unbelief in my heart. I know God is whispering in his small voice, "trust me". This brings me to my point and what God is so graciously teaching me. God has not called me to a life of ease and comfort. God has not called me to the "American Dream". God has called me to live for His glory. Jesus tells us to love God first and our neighbor second. Honestly, nothing in this life is supposed to be about me. Why is this soooo hard? Everything in me wants this life to be about me. Everything in me wants a comfortable, easy life. Thankfully, JESUS in me reminds me that the only life worth living consists of dying to myself and my desires and living for Christ. Loving and following Christ is my only hope for a life worth living. This is where God wants Paul and me. He never promised following Him would be easy. He did promise it would be worth it, and He will shower us with his grace even in the midst of our unbelief.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
